Padawan Control
by Phantom Clover
Summary: When Padawans decide that the jedi mind trick might be useful...


~*scene: Padawan class room #109*~  
  
(Obi-wan and his new padawan Anakin enter the classroom full of animated paper planes and lightsaber fights)  
  
Obi: Cease this playing! This room is for learning not fun!  
  
(Everyone ignores him and Obi gets hit in the forehead with a spit wad)  
  
Anakin: Hey dudes! Sup? Listen, we gotta listen to the teach so we can get outta here quicker. Comrades?  
  
(Everyone is silent and looks attentively at Obi)  
  
Obi: *clears his throat* today class, we are going to learn about health.  
  
Class in General: SEX ED?!  
  
Obi: *glares* if that's what you miscreants call it, then yes, Sex Ed.  
  
Everyone: WHOO! You got any visual aids?  
  
Obi: shut up.  
  
Everyone: *shuts up*  
  
(Door opens and everyone looks)  
  
Obi: Ahh! Here is our guest speaker now!  
  
(Yoda enters)  
  
Everyone: *gasp*  
  
Yoda: teach you about sexual relations, I will.  
  
Everyone: *screams in terror*  
  
Anakin: Master Obi-wan? Do you think this was a good idea?  
  
Obi: Master Yoda insisted on teaching the class. Now shush.  
  
Yoda: Be quiet you will. Have holos, I do.  
  
(Yoda pulls out a holo projector and presses play)  
  
(Everyone watches in shocked silence)  
  
Yoda: put in wrong holo, I have!  
  
Obi: *is clawing at his eyes* Turn it off! Turn it off!  
  
(Anakin in sitting in a corner rocking back and forth)  
  
Annie: Brain. dirty. images.  
  
Everyone: Dear lord save us! *chaos ensues*  
  
(Yoda turns off his Vacation holo)  
  
Yoda: Sorry, I am.  
  
Everyone: Please! Don't turn it on again!  
  
Yoda: turn it on, I won't. But need example we do.  
  
(Yoda uses Jedi mind trick on Obi-wan, who begins to do a strip tease)  
  
Everyone: AHHH!  
  
Annie: Master! Stop! Please!  
  
Yoda: Mind trick stop, will not.  
  
All Female students: Shake it, Obi!  
  
Obi: *strip dancing to imaginary music*  
  
Annie: Master!  
  
Yoda: Sorry, I am.  
  
(Female students use mind trick on Anakin, who starts dirty dancing with Yoda)  
  
Male Students: AHHH!  
  
Female Students: *giggle* Shake that thang, Annie!  
  
Annie: Ahh! Stop it! I'm dirty dancing with Yoda! Help me!  
  
Obi: *is in his boxers and swinging on the fire escape pole*  
  
Female student #1: maybe we should let him stop  
  
Female student #2: Nah. This is so much fun!  
  
Female Student #1: You're right! But shouldn't we help Master Yoda stop Obi from stripping to the full Monty?  
  
Female Student #2: *whispers in #1's ear*  
  
Female Student #1: I do -not- talk in my sleep!  
  
Male Student #1: I feel sorry for Anakin.  
  
Female Student #2: wanna join him?  
  
Male Student #1: I withdraw that statement.  
  
(Mace Windu enters)  
  
Mace: What's going on here?!  
  
Female Student #3: Nothing! We were just.umm. conducting an experiment!  
  
Mace: What is Obi-Wan doing?  
  
Female Student #3: He's. uhh.. Demonstrating!  
  
Mace: In his boxers?! All of you! Detention!  
  
(Students whisper to each other, then mind trick Mace)  
  
Mace: I have the sudden urge to dress in a purple dress and do the hula *does so*  
  
Male Student #2: This is great!  
  
Mace: Just wait! If I had my purple lightsaber.  
  
(General snickers from all corners)  
  
Anakin: HELP ME!  
  
(Students take pity on him, and make him do the tango with Obi)  
  
Anakin: I don't know how to Tango!  
  
Obi: Neither do I! And I'm still in my boxers!  
  
Anakin: AHH! The author has put us at her every whim!  
  
Obi: NOO! She is a well known Slash fan! AHHH!  
  
(Obi and Annie start snogging because I'm the author and I say so)  
  
All Female students: I KNEW IT!  
  
All male students: ewww.  
  
Mace: Master Obi-wan! That is not proper conduct! *is still hula dancing in a purple skirt and coconuts*  
  
(All the students are doubled over with laughter)  
  
(The mind Tricks suddenly stop working)  
  
Yoda: time limit, there is.  
  
(Obi and Anakin jump away from each other and wipe their mouths and spit)  
  
Obi and Annie: Ewww.  
  
Mace: Where the hell did I get these clothes?!  
  
Male student #4: You were wearing them under your uniform.  
  
Mace: Eh-heh.  
  
Obi: CLASS DISMISSED! 


End file.
